I wish I was better at appreciating what I have. Recently I've really started missing some of the people that have gone from my life, either from moving, or getting out of touch or even dying.
I wish I could just relive the time I had with them, I wish I could love them harder, and really care. Regrets of the past are never fun to have, but I really wish I could somehow change somethings I did, or rather didnt, do. Take Nisa for instance. I loved that girl so much but I wish I had been closer to her. Im sorry to say she and I werent best friends, not like Lara and I. Both Lara and Nisa were foreign exchange students with the same family but I didnt become super close until Lara came along. I wish I had cherished Nisa while I could, because there is a high chance I may never see her again, or at least will never get a lot of time around her, not like all the time I could have had while she liveed 5 min away from me. Here's another example. My grandpa died about 2 years ago now, and I wish I had spent more time with him. I have some amazing memories of him, and we did see each other a lot but not as much as I wish. Hindsite is always 20/20 right? :/
I wish I had picked up the phone everytime he called, I wish I had called HIM as much as he called me. And as much as I say that its so hard to remember to keep in touch with my grandma. I don't want to regret not calling her. I just wish I could let all those people I don't have anymore how much I care. Just one more hug, one more conversation, one more chance to let them know I care. Some of them I can at least talk to, but having 2,000 miles plus between you and someone really makes it hard to feel totally connected. Im not going to get better about showing I care and keeping up with my loved ones over night but I do really want to work on it. Because I do care. A lot.
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