Respect

Sometimes people tell me what to do. Its a part of life, it'll always happen. And I don't mind, like if it's my boss, mentor, older, wiser person, somone I've sumbitted myself to, somebody I trust. People like that. But sometimes people don't just tell me what to do, they try to force me into things. I hate that. I know I'm still a teenager, and most people will say to deal with it, thats what happens when you're a "kid". And thats true. Sometimes.... I'm not a normal girl, I've had to learn to take care of myself and do things on my own. Ever since my dad died when I was 10 I've basically parented myself. Yeah, my mom did some but when he was gone, my life ceased any pretenses of "normal" that I thought my life was or had. I was strange even before Dad died, all my siblings were. We were taught to be very self-suficient and were very mature for our ages. And all that escalated when I was just barely 10. And now, I'm finding myself having parents. It's so weird!! I'm not used to them! Somedays I feel 40, other days I feel 8. Its crazy sometimes having to trust other people to meet my needs. I don't know how I'm dealing with it, it's still shocking to have them. I love them so much, but it's a little difficult absorbing the fact that my life isn't the way it used to be. I don't mind obeying them and respecting them, I'd do it for the rest of my life if I thought it would somehow repay them. This isn't about them at all. It's about not being respected, and being pushed around. It's about people assuming I'll "adapt'. Well here's some news. I won't. I'm willing to compromise and meet in the middle, to a certain point. But when people try to decide my life for me, without even trying to find a compromise. They just assume they are right. Because I've decided for myself for so long having someone TELL me I'm going to do something that I've made clear I despise makes me very angry. I need respect, and I don't get that too much. My opinions aren't respected, they're heard then rejected. In fact, sometimes I wonder that they are heard at all. So my point is, respect is a key part in any relationship. And I think so many times people forget that. I forget that! I'll tell that person right back what I will and will not do. What we really need to do is actually sit down and find a solution that will work for both of us without trying to boss each other around. I hope we figure that out, and soon. Because otherwise our relationship with suffer big time. Because without respect, life is a heck of a lot harder. So I guess this means I have to be the mature one and try to give respect. And maybe, just maybe I'll get some back. We can pray anyway....