I'm waiting....

I moved. It was hard, and painful.
I'm homesick. It sucks and it's even more painful.
I have some amazing people in my life, who keep me grounded in God and do more for me than I'll probably ever know. I miss the ones I left, but I got some new ones here.
I miss home. I dream about it, I think about it, I talk about it constantly.
But I'm starting to realize some things.
I found something out that I never knew before. God loves me! Why? Who knows, I sure don't. But He does! And He has the most amazing plan for my life. I'm learning that, and I'm learning to trust that He has my life under control. I've been so stressed and upset about my future lately, and its been killing me. But I'm starting to hear what God is telling me. "Wait on the Lord, and follow His way." Psalm 37:34a
While I've been stressing and trying to pull my life together, I've lost site of God and His Word. Last night I was drained. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I couldn't sleep and I had folded all my laundry, which is saying something, haha. I was at Christfest at College Station early in the night, and there was a concert and one of the artist's had said something that struck a note. He said something about being in a time of waiting and listening to God and just relying on Him. I opened my bible and was reading in Psalms, and desperately praying for a word from God. And then I saw it, in orange highlighter. "Wait on the Lord, and follow His way." I was waiting on God, that's for sure, but I hadn't really been very close to Him, in fact it seemed like I'd never been so far from Him. And when I needed Him the most all I was doing was forgetting Him and trying to do my own thing, yet still expecting Him to get my life where I wanted it to be. I just soaked in that little snippet of wisdom and realized that while I am waiting on God I need to be seeking Him and pursuing His heart. So that's what I'm doing. And I'm trying to open my heart up to receive His love and wisdom. And the funny thing is, I'm starting to feel content with this time of waiting. Why? Because I know God has it under control. Whatever happens is going to be so much better than any of my plans. Maybe here I'll be able to touch someone's life that otherwise would have been lost otherwise. I don't know, I just know this. His plans will not harm me. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Do I still want my own plans to happen? Of course! But am I content with my life right now? Yes, because I know I'm where God wants me.